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Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Birth-mother rambles

Love can lose you.
Confuse you.
Make you shake your head.
But the moments when you are not only happy, but content.
Those are the moments why I keep trying.
Not for the sex, money, crap people get in relationships for.....
It's when you can read their mind....or know that it's okay by looking at them.
Scary moments can make or break it.
When I had my birth-daughter, who was there?
Was the crushes there?
Was the birth-father there?
Was my friends there?
No. The people that stood by my side were there.
My husband and my mom. My grandma. My adoption specialist.
She was born.
She was beautiful but I didn't want to fall in love.
Yet. I will always love my child.
I did the best I could.
She is taken care of to such an extreme that I just couldn't provide.
The hurt of the pregnancy...the memories of that time almost hurt more than the birth itself.
I was so stupid, gullible, non-reliable.
I left the stable life I had.
I left my son.
It hurts more than losing my daughter or pretty comparable.
I am finally happy and content.
It took almost 2 years.
I love that being a mom and a birth-mom makes me special.
Strong even.
I hope that I can provide more as inspiration rather than a burden.
Okay, rambled long enough.....KohlS Cares Eric Carle Does A Kangaroo Have A Mother TooSkagen Steel Dual Mother-Of-Pearl Dial Ladies Watch - 20SSSMPwww.cafemom.comBirth-mom supporter